"I agree with Mirren that if a man ignored a woman who said 'no' after engaging in sexual activity that is rape, but I disagree that there is anything subtle about rape under these circumstances," said Chester. "Ignoring someone else's 'no' is a criminal choice."
"When I was date raped at age 15, I accepted the idea that my rapist couldn't stop himself," said Chester. "I was wrong. His crime wasn't a momentary loss of control, it was premeditated. Each 'no' from me meant only that he looked for a way to ignore my lack of consent without thinking of himself as a real rapist. For some rapists all it takes to rationalize rape is being alone in a bedroom or hotel room with their intended victim."
The idea that certain rapes shouldn't be prosecuted contributes to those types of rapes in the same way that Mirren realized that her limited cocaine use helped all those who profited from the cocaine trade. Date rapists will only stop viewing themselves as being law abiding people when the criminal justice system and the public stops inhaling date rape denial like it is a mind-altering drug.
All types of crimes are committed both by strangers and by those who have relationships with their victims. To deny this when the crime is rape is a dangerous delusion.
The only reason to demand that date rape never be prosecuted is the belief that a jury can never tell the difference between rape and consensual sex unless the defendant is a total stranger who threatens the victim with a knife or gun.
About Marcella Chester
Chester is a date rape survivor, author and advocate with over 9 years of experience as a volunteer answering her local rape crisis line. Her personal blog, abyss2hope.com has had over 150,000 visitors since it was created in 2006.
For more information, please visit daterapeisrealrape.com.
